So a member of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ asks if I will be publishing any iPhone apps. The answer is that I (I mean we) will, of course, be submitting some apps to the App Store. My constellation of professional geniuses with hundreds of famous clients around the globe is working feverishly to bring a mobile version of our great ACP tools to the iPhone. We plan to deliver over ninety separate really useful tools for UNIX professionals to the iPhone platform. True Apple professionals will definitely require these most excellent apps.
But that being said, the iPhone still sucks and you've all been led down the Garden Path. Just look at how The Beige Wizards™ in Cupertino butchered our beloved NeXTSTEP to arrive at this little engineering disaster they call OS X for iPhone. I mean, good lord, they're still not using fopen() and fwrite(), those most excellent professional UNIX APIs for writing files.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
The Apple Reich
Since the comparison of Apple Inc to Hitler's Third Reich is just so apt, I just wanted to jot down a few quick notes of witty commentary before I forget my brief stroke of genius:
1) John Gruber is the Heinrich Himmler of Mac Fanboyism™.
2) Stepwise is Josef Goebbels, what with all the twisting around of words and slamming this Constellation of Advanced Professionals™ here at Fake Rixstep™. Just like the Nazi propaganda machine has done.
2) Steve Jobs is, of course, Adolf Hitler.
3) And Apple has ruined NeXT.
Now, excuse me, while I get back to my hundreds of really famous clients awaiting my professional expertise.
1) John Gruber is the Heinrich Himmler of Mac Fanboyism™.
2) Stepwise is Josef Goebbels, what with all the twisting around of words and slamming this Constellation of Advanced Professionals™ here at Fake Rixstep™. Just like the Nazi propaganda machine has done.
2) Steve Jobs is, of course, Adolf Hitler.
3) And Apple has ruined NeXT.
Now, excuse me, while I get back to my hundreds of really famous clients awaiting my professional expertise.
Friday, March 21, 2008
iRuined
Although I did state in a previous post that we would be doing iPhone SDK consulting for hundreds of really famous companies and that the Constellation™ here has already ported our wonderful tools for Unix professionals to this platform, I feel compelled to point out that I believe the entire iPhone SDK developer program blows dog chunks. Only a Kool-Aid drinker would think this Hitlerian-style software dictatorship Apple has proposed is actually a good thing.
Beyond that, the fact is, Apple is simply ruining Mac OS X (and consequently iPhone OS). And it's not even their operating system (despite the fact that it actually is, it really isn't). The Cupertinian staggeringly unparalleled total incompetence is absolutely mind-boggling. How do these idiots even call themselves engineers? Apple's market share is so insignificant it has steadily been rising over the past years. They've been making more money than ever and as such will be going down in flames shortly. Nobody takes this company seriously anymore, especially not the major players (case-in-point: The Constellation of Professional Mac Developers™ here at Fake Rixstep).
Beyond that, the fact is, Apple is simply ruining Mac OS X (and consequently iPhone OS). And it's not even their operating system (despite the fact that it actually is, it really isn't). The Cupertinian staggeringly unparalleled total incompetence is absolutely mind-boggling. How do these idiots even call themselves engineers? Apple's market share is so insignificant it has steadily been rising over the past years. They've been making more money than ever and as such will be going down in flames shortly. Nobody takes this company seriously anymore, especially not the major players (case-in-point: The Constellation of Professional Mac Developers™ here at Fake Rixstep).
Cryphone SDK
Looks like some of the clowns in the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ have been spending time on Twitter lately whining and crying about not being accepted into the iPhone developer program. Remember that twirp with the red sweater whose software got four bournt toasts in my thorough review? Is there still any question why he's not in the iPhone program? The Technological™ among us, clearly, know the real reason behind his rejection.
And we here in this Constellation of Unix Professionals and Mac Development Experts of ours, of course, have already ported our suite of professional tools to the iPhone. We will also be doing iPhone consulting for hundreds of really famous companies because we're the smartest iPhone developers on the planet. Where by "we" I, of course, really mean "I."
And we here in this Constellation of Unix Professionals and Mac Development Experts of ours, of course, have already ported our suite of professional tools to the iPhone. We will also be doing iPhone consulting for hundreds of really famous companies because we're the smartest iPhone developers on the planet. Where by "we" I, of course, really mean "I."
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Of idiots and morons
It really isn't Steve Jobs' fault. He actually doesn't drink from that same Kool-Aid pitcher as everyone else. In fact, he doesn't drink Kool-Aid at all.
It's the Grade A Idiots™ who were already entrenched at Apple headquarters in Cupertino who lead us down the garden path. You see, these graybeards™ are so staggeringly stupid and moronically incompetent that they actually think they're doing something good and making it better. In reality, they aren't. They're actually making horrific mistakes and engaging in screw-ups of galactic proportions.
Take the QuickBooks incident. None of that would have occurred if the Grade A Idiots™ hadn't held back OPENSTEP for FIVE YEARS just so they could add a stupid desktop with icons on it. OPENSTEP never had icons on its desktop, so that would have eliminated the chances of QuickBooks deleting anybody's desktop folder. BECAUSE THERE WAS NONE TO BEGIN WITH.
These morons and dumbasses simply can't be controlled. And because of that, Apple's sales are going to tank horribly and the company is going to fail miserably. Society, indeed the entire world, is laughing at their staggering idiocy.
It's the Grade A Idiots™ who were already entrenched at Apple headquarters in Cupertino who lead us down the garden path. You see, these graybeards™ are so staggeringly stupid and moronically incompetent that they actually think they're doing something good and making it better. In reality, they aren't. They're actually making horrific mistakes and engaging in screw-ups of galactic proportions.
Take the QuickBooks incident. None of that would have occurred if the Grade A Idiots™ hadn't held back OPENSTEP for FIVE YEARS just so they could add a stupid desktop with icons on it. OPENSTEP never had icons on its desktop, so that would have eliminated the chances of QuickBooks deleting anybody's desktop folder. BECAUSE THERE WAS NONE TO BEGIN WITH.
These morons and dumbasses simply can't be controlled. And because of that, Apple's sales are going to tank horribly and the company is going to fail miserably. Society, indeed the entire world, is laughing at their staggering idiocy.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Kool-Aid, riot police and Adolf Hitler
I'm sorry but I just can't let it go. I'm sick and tired of these stupid Apple Cultists, these Maccie fanboy beige shirt wearing hysterical lunatic Kool-Aid gulping shitheads who won't discuss the Cross Platform Bait & Switch™ (damn, I really am getting good at coining these clever terms, aren't I?).
I know I wrote once that Gil Amelio is my Grinch Who Stole Christmas. But let's face it: he was both a financial and managerial genius. Because he wanted to support cross platform. Obviously, he was purged during the Steve Jobs putsch in 1997. Given that Apple's share price was hovering somewhere between $3-$9 during that year, I really don't get why they got rid of this talented asset to Apple. Clearly, his strategy made far more sense than anything that idiot Jobs has done since. Bringing AAPL all the way to $199.83. Unbelievable. That stupid fuck who got rid of cross platform. Why do Apple stockholders put up with this bullshit?
I need Mac OS X to run on every piece of PC hardware being produced today. I produce a set of over ninety really useful UNIX tools for professionals. Because I have yet to sell a single copy of my wonderful $89 package, I think I am quite qualified to note that the Mac platform as it stands today, limited to Apple hardware, does not represent a sustainable platform. It has to do with this, not the fact that my software looks like bovine excrement and is about as useful to anyone as a shitlog floating down the Mississippi. Because my software is great and really useful. Especially that file browser for advanced people.
Apple shouldn't worry about what makes financial sense. They should feel compassion for their fellow human beings and charitably make their operating system available on all hardware. But a cult would never understand this supreme logic of mine.
It reminds me a lot of 1930s Germany when Adolf Hitler murdered people for speaking out and objecting to his rule. It's essentially exactly like these Maccie fanboy cultists who can't stand someone who doesn't drink the Kool-Aid. I'm the victim here and the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ are the Nazis. (Yes, I actually - again - am comparing points of contention surrounding a computer hardware and software company to Nazi Germany... wait... you mean you don't see the obvious parallels? Then you're a stupid idiot and a Hitler-loving asshole.)
Since most of you are too stupid to get this because only I am advanced enough to understand, you'll probably just accuse me of rambling a bunch of nonsense. But I don't care. I consult for famous companies. I'm an advanced professional.
That's all, shitheads.
I know I wrote once that Gil Amelio is my Grinch Who Stole Christmas. But let's face it: he was both a financial and managerial genius. Because he wanted to support cross platform. Obviously, he was purged during the Steve Jobs putsch in 1997. Given that Apple's share price was hovering somewhere between $3-$9 during that year, I really don't get why they got rid of this talented asset to Apple. Clearly, his strategy made far more sense than anything that idiot Jobs has done since. Bringing AAPL all the way to $199.83. Unbelievable. That stupid fuck who got rid of cross platform. Why do Apple stockholders put up with this bullshit?
I need Mac OS X to run on every piece of PC hardware being produced today. I produce a set of over ninety really useful UNIX tools for professionals. Because I have yet to sell a single copy of my wonderful $89 package, I think I am quite qualified to note that the Mac platform as it stands today, limited to Apple hardware, does not represent a sustainable platform. It has to do with this, not the fact that my software looks like bovine excrement and is about as useful to anyone as a shitlog floating down the Mississippi. Because my software is great and really useful. Especially that file browser for advanced people.
Apple shouldn't worry about what makes financial sense. They should feel compassion for their fellow human beings and charitably make their operating system available on all hardware. But a cult would never understand this supreme logic of mine.
It reminds me a lot of 1930s Germany when Adolf Hitler murdered people for speaking out and objecting to his rule. It's essentially exactly like these Maccie fanboy cultists who can't stand someone who doesn't drink the Kool-Aid. I'm the victim here and the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ are the Nazis. (Yes, I actually - again - am comparing points of contention surrounding a computer hardware and software company to Nazi Germany... wait... you mean you don't see the obvious parallels? Then you're a stupid idiot and a Hitler-loving asshole.)
Since most of you are too stupid to get this because only I am advanced enough to understand, you'll probably just accuse me of rambling a bunch of nonsense. But I don't care. I consult for famous companies. I'm an advanced professional.
That's all, shitheads.
Web crawling out of my little hole
My favorite object orientation language is, of course, Objective-C. The language goes hand-in-hand with the NeXTSTEP classes. Ten years ago, OPENSTEP - the best operating system ever to have existed - ran on a multitude of platforms.
But those Cupertino Beige Box™ idiots really screwed the pooch when they began the occupation of NeXT. They're trying to stop advanced programmers like me, who consult for hundreds of famous companies, from getting my products out. Yes, they're barring me from producing software. Because they don't make OPENSTEP available for other platforms anymore. I couldn't just use another language/API, of course. Apple forces me to use Objective-C/Cocoa and on top of that, they force me to only create products for Mac.
I don't understand why Apple's shareholders put up with this. It's ridiculous. These clowns running Apple have no business sense. AAPL stock on December 20th, 1996, closed at $5.88/share. On Friday, December 28th, 2007, AAPL closed at $199.83. I really don't get why the hell these idiot investors accept this crap from Apple management.
The fact remains that Apple led us down the garden path. Just read the WWDC chronicles (which I of course didn't copy verbatim in violation of federal copyright law a few days ago, that was just everyone's imagination). These stupid Maccie fanboy morons. But luckily their numbers are dwindling by the day. The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ is going to see what it means when people don't just drink the Kool-Aid and actually speak their minds. Like me. Actually, it's only me for now. But I swear, there will be two of us within the next decade. So watch out.
But those Cupertino Beige Box™ idiots really screwed the pooch when they began the occupation of NeXT. They're trying to stop advanced programmers like me, who consult for hundreds of famous companies, from getting my products out. Yes, they're barring me from producing software. Because they don't make OPENSTEP available for other platforms anymore. I couldn't just use another language/API, of course. Apple forces me to use Objective-C/Cocoa and on top of that, they force me to only create products for Mac.
I don't understand why Apple's shareholders put up with this. It's ridiculous. These clowns running Apple have no business sense. AAPL stock on December 20th, 1996, closed at $5.88/share. On Friday, December 28th, 2007, AAPL closed at $199.83. I really don't get why the hell these idiot investors accept this crap from Apple management.
The fact remains that Apple led us down the garden path. Just read the WWDC chronicles (which I of course didn't copy verbatim in violation of federal copyright law a few days ago, that was just everyone's imagination). These stupid Maccie fanboy morons. But luckily their numbers are dwindling by the day. The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ is going to see what it means when people don't just drink the Kool-Aid and actually speak their minds. Like me. Actually, it's only me for now. But I swear, there will be two of us within the next decade. So watch out.
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