Why I can't work for you

Apparently one of the members of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™, that guy in the red sweater whose software got four burnt toasts in my review, is thinking about hiring help.

You may ask why I don't apply. It would make perfect sense, actually, because then I could teach this moron how to properly develop software. Well, actually, not really develop anything per se. Because I obsess so much about using Xfile to find the important details like .Trashes directories and uncompressed TIFF obscenities that I never really get any real programming work done. But I focus on what's important.

This leads me to why I realistically can't apply for this job. Frankly, I'm just far too advanced for it. I would make the guy in the red sweater feel inferior. In fact, I'm way too advanced for any actual job. That's why I run my own consulting business, where I have hundreds of famous clients across the globe. And I make this stunningly cool file browser for advanced Apple professionals.