I'm sorry but I just can't let it go. I'm sick and tired of these stupid Apple Cultists, these Maccie fanboy beige shirt wearing hysterical lunatic Kool-Aid gulping shitheads who won't discuss the Cross Platform Bait & Switch™ (damn, I really am getting good at coining these clever terms, aren't I?).
I know I wrote once that Gil Amelio is my Grinch Who Stole Christmas. But let's face it: he was both a financial and managerial genius. Because he wanted to support cross platform. Obviously, he was purged during the Steve Jobs putsch in 1997. Given that Apple's share price was hovering somewhere between $3-$9 during that year, I really don't get why they got rid of this talented asset to Apple. Clearly, his strategy made far more sense than anything that idiot Jobs has done since. Bringing AAPL all the way to $199.83. Unbelievable. That stupid fuck who got rid of cross platform. Why do Apple stockholders put up with this bullshit?
I need Mac OS X to run on every piece of PC hardware being produced today. I produce a set of over ninety really useful UNIX tools for professionals. Because I have yet to sell a single copy of my wonderful $89 package, I think I am quite qualified to note that the Mac platform as it stands today, limited to Apple hardware, does not represent a sustainable platform. It has to do with this, not the fact that my software looks like bovine excrement and is about as useful to anyone as a shitlog floating down the Mississippi. Because my software is great and really useful. Especially that file browser for advanced people.
Apple shouldn't worry about what makes financial sense. They should feel compassion for their fellow human beings and charitably make their operating system available on all hardware. But a cult would never understand this supreme logic of mine.
It reminds me a lot of 1930s Germany when Adolf Hitler murdered people for speaking out and objecting to his rule. It's essentially exactly like these Maccie fanboy cultists who can't stand someone who doesn't drink the Kool-Aid. I'm the victim here and the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ are the Nazis. (Yes, I actually - again - am comparing points of contention surrounding a computer hardware and software company to Nazi Germany... wait... you mean you don't see the obvious parallels? Then you're a stupid idiot and a Hitler-loving asshole.)
Since most of you are too stupid to get this because only I am advanced enough to understand, you'll probably just accuse me of rambling a bunch of nonsense. But I don't care. I consult for famous companies. I'm an advanced professional.
That's all, shitheads.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Web crawling out of my little hole
My favorite object orientation language is, of course, Objective-C. The language goes hand-in-hand with the NeXTSTEP classes. Ten years ago, OPENSTEP - the best operating system ever to have existed - ran on a multitude of platforms.
But those Cupertino Beige Box™ idiots really screwed the pooch when they began the occupation of NeXT. They're trying to stop advanced programmers like me, who consult for hundreds of famous companies, from getting my products out. Yes, they're barring me from producing software. Because they don't make OPENSTEP available for other platforms anymore. I couldn't just use another language/API, of course. Apple forces me to use Objective-C/Cocoa and on top of that, they force me to only create products for Mac.
I don't understand why Apple's shareholders put up with this. It's ridiculous. These clowns running Apple have no business sense. AAPL stock on December 20th, 1996, closed at $5.88/share. On Friday, December 28th, 2007, AAPL closed at $199.83. I really don't get why the hell these idiot investors accept this crap from Apple management.
The fact remains that Apple led us down the garden path. Just read the WWDC chronicles (which I of course didn't copy verbatim in violation of federal copyright law a few days ago, that was just everyone's imagination). These stupid Maccie fanboy morons. But luckily their numbers are dwindling by the day. The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ is going to see what it means when people don't just drink the Kool-Aid and actually speak their minds. Like me. Actually, it's only me for now. But I swear, there will be two of us within the next decade. So watch out.
But those Cupertino Beige Box™ idiots really screwed the pooch when they began the occupation of NeXT. They're trying to stop advanced programmers like me, who consult for hundreds of famous companies, from getting my products out. Yes, they're barring me from producing software. Because they don't make OPENSTEP available for other platforms anymore. I couldn't just use another language/API, of course. Apple forces me to use Objective-C/Cocoa and on top of that, they force me to only create products for Mac.
I don't understand why Apple's shareholders put up with this. It's ridiculous. These clowns running Apple have no business sense. AAPL stock on December 20th, 1996, closed at $5.88/share. On Friday, December 28th, 2007, AAPL closed at $199.83. I really don't get why the hell these idiot investors accept this crap from Apple management.
The fact remains that Apple led us down the garden path. Just read the WWDC chronicles (which I of course didn't copy verbatim in violation of federal copyright law a few days ago, that was just everyone's imagination). These stupid Maccie fanboy morons. But luckily their numbers are dwindling by the day. The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ is going to see what it means when people don't just drink the Kool-Aid and actually speak their minds. Like me. Actually, it's only me for now. But I swear, there will be two of us within the next decade. So watch out.
Friday, December 28, 2007
OMG ignore my last post
OMFG I can't believe this! OK, first pretend you never read my last post. Because you need to have a clear head for what you are about to hear: APPARENTLY APPLE HAS REALLY SCREWED THE POOCH WITH NSDOCUMENT/CONTROLLER AND THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE EVEN BEFORE LEOPARD.
I don't know if this Greg person here knows what he's talking about, but it looks like the following is what actually happens:
"The default save behavior of NSDocument is basically to rename the existing file, write out the document to a new file in a temporary directory, move that saved file from the temporary directory to its final location, then delete the old file that was renamed in the first step."
Good lord. Uncle UNIX is crying. This has been happening for quite some time apparently. This is just awful. The nerve of these Cupertino Beige Box Assholes™ to sidestep fwrite() and implement this ridiculous procedure. Because, frankly, if you're that stupid that you don't have one of those power backup bricks then you deserve to lose your data to the resulting corruption of a power outage. And if you lose it some other way, you're still stupid. Professionals don't lose data.
I don't know if this Greg person here knows what he's talking about, but it looks like the following is what actually happens:
"The default save behavior of NSDocument is basically to rename the existing file, write out the document to a new file in a temporary directory, move that saved file from the temporary directory to its final location, then delete the old file that was renamed in the first step."
Good lord. Uncle UNIX is crying. This has been happening for quite some time apparently. This is just awful. The nerve of these Cupertino Beige Box Assholes™ to sidestep fwrite() and implement this ridiculous procedure. Because, frankly, if you're that stupid that you don't have one of those power backup bricks then you deserve to lose your data to the resulting corruption of a power outage. And if you lose it some other way, you're still stupid. Professionals don't lose data.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Falling files
The Beige Wizards™ in Cupertino - what a bunch of clowns - have really butchered NeXTSTEP. OMG.
NSDocumentController
How stupid can these morons get? Here's the procedure NSDocumentController uses when saving a file:
1. NSDocumentController writes out the new data to a temporary file.
2. After a successful write to the temp file, it then deletes the old file.
3. It then moves the temporary file into the old file's location.
Why do they do this? Apparently they're concerned about a power outage or something similar interrupting the write process, thus potentially and irreparably corrupting the user's data.
Stupid fucks. Why not just use the good old professional UNIX APIs? fopen() and fwrite()? Who cares about losing or corrupting data? Better to just stick to the old "underbody" - UNIX - and not unlink any inodes.
(Oh, and forget about that whole temporary file bit. I think I can make a more convincing argument for fwrite() if I talk out of my ass and claim that the original file is DELETED - thus meaning the only place your data still exists is in RAM - and then the new file is written to disk. Stupid Cupertino losers. Screw you, Steve. I consult for famous companies. You don't. POS.)
Update: Seems I might be a bit off on those above steps there. Well, actually, that's not true because I'm a genius, I'm smarter than you and anyone at Apple and I'm never wrong. But in the event that I am wrong - an impossible occurrence, of course - the general point is that there are steps taken to prevent data corruption. Which you should completely disregard because it isn't important. Because that's not how UNIX and fwrite() would do it. And UNIX is what professionals use.
NSDocumentController
How stupid can these morons get? Here's the procedure NSDocumentController uses when saving a file:
1. NSDocumentController writes out the new data to a temporary file.
2. After a successful write to the temp file, it then deletes the old file.
3. It then moves the temporary file into the old file's location.
Why do they do this? Apparently they're concerned about a power outage or something similar interrupting the write process, thus potentially and irreparably corrupting the user's data.
Stupid fucks. Why not just use the good old professional UNIX APIs? fopen() and fwrite()? Who cares about losing or corrupting data? Better to just stick to the old "underbody" - UNIX - and not unlink any inodes.
(Oh, and forget about that whole temporary file bit. I think I can make a more convincing argument for fwrite() if I talk out of my ass and claim that the original file is DELETED - thus meaning the only place your data still exists is in RAM - and then the new file is written to disk. Stupid Cupertino losers. Screw you, Steve. I consult for famous companies. You don't. POS.)
Update: Seems I might be a bit off on those above steps there. Well, actually, that's not true because I'm a genius, I'm smarter than you and anyone at Apple and I'm never wrong. But in the event that I am wrong - an impossible occurrence, of course - the general point is that there are steps taken to prevent data corruption. Which you should completely disregard because it isn't important. Because that's not how UNIX and fwrite() would do it. And UNIX is what professionals use.
Sales surge
Not only am I a one-man constellation of programmers, geniuses, and consultants with hundreds of famous clients around the globe, I sell this really excellent set of tools for Apple professionals. It's ACP and it's available for just $89. It includes over ninety really useful tools for UNIX professionals.
Since I noticed a few members of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ participated in this MacSanta thing and then posted their holiday sales results, I figured I'd do the same. Because the Landed Gentry are a constellation of idiots and morons and you'll learn a lot more from a true professional who actually understands the software industry. I make a really popular and great file browser that everybody who isn't a brain-dead moron uses. As essentially everyone excluding yours truly is batshit insane and, worse, just plain stupid, that does leave precious few paying customers for my most excellent, award-winning package of advanced professional UNIX tools.
So what I did was order 100 copies of ACP myself over the holiday period. Meaning I generated $8900 in sales just this Christmas alone. That's pretty damned good.
Since I noticed a few members of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ participated in this MacSanta thing and then posted their holiday sales results, I figured I'd do the same. Because the Landed Gentry are a constellation of idiots and morons and you'll learn a lot more from a true professional who actually understands the software industry. I make a really popular and great file browser that everybody who isn't a brain-dead moron uses. As essentially everyone excluding yours truly is batshit insane and, worse, just plain stupid, that does leave precious few paying customers for my most excellent, award-winning package of advanced professional UNIX tools.
So what I did was order 100 copies of ACP myself over the holiday period. Meaning I generated $8900 in sales just this Christmas alone. That's pretty damned good.
Monday, December 24, 2007
For the record
It's official. I really am an asshole.
For the record, this is why.
This time, I didn't outright copy & paste like I did the last time. Instead, I paraphrased a few sentences. But in such a manner that I'm actually committing plagiarism because I'm not properly attributing my source. And then, I actually also did just outright copy & paste entire sentences verbatim. But this time I interspersed little bits of my own clever commentary in between. Yeah. I'm that good.
And yeah, I actually did it. I compared Apple's acquisition of NeXT to the Nazis taking power in 1933 Germany. I really am that dense - well, actually, smart. Because I'm the only person who sees the obvious parallels here between gassing millions of people and a company merging with another. The rest of you idiots and morons are like blind mice.
So sue me.
For the record, this is why.
This time, I didn't outright copy & paste like I did the last time. Instead, I paraphrased a few sentences. But in such a manner that I'm actually committing plagiarism because I'm not properly attributing my source. And then, I actually also did just outright copy & paste entire sentences verbatim. But this time I interspersed little bits of my own clever commentary in between. Yeah. I'm that good.
And yeah, I actually did it. I compared Apple's acquisition of NeXT to the Nazis taking power in 1933 Germany. I really am that dense - well, actually, smart. Because I'm the only person who sees the obvious parallels here between gassing millions of people and a company merging with another. The rest of you idiots and morons are like blind mice.
So sue me.
They actually think I'm the real Rixstep
Wow. I guess I should feel complimented by that. Or maybe not.
Chuqui 3.0, of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™, writes:
The rixstep folks are amazingly lame. Now tehy have this "fake rixstep" site taking rips at people criticizing them. Boy, this kind of stuff is really cutting.
No, they don't get a link from me. Probably go whining to mom because of it, but so what?
I would but she won't talk to me anymore. Because I hate her. And I don't let her talk to me. She's just as stupid as the rest of you losers. The only person in the world who gets it is me. Because I'm smart. Everyone else is an idiot. That's why I consult for hundreds of famous companies and you don't.
Chuqui 3.0, of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™, writes:
The rixstep folks are amazingly lame. Now tehy have this "fake rixstep" site taking rips at people criticizing them. Boy, this kind of stuff is really cutting.
No, they don't get a link from me. Probably go whining to mom because of it, but so what?
I would but she won't talk to me anymore. Because I hate her. And I don't let her talk to me. She's just as stupid as the rest of you losers. The only person in the world who gets it is me. Because I'm smart. Everyone else is an idiot. That's why I consult for hundreds of famous companies and you don't.
Merry NeXTmas
11 years and 4 days ago (that's December 20, 1996, for the many stupid people likely to be reading this - most people are stupid because most people aren't me), NeXT Software was acquired by Apple Computer. I just felt I need to make note of this for you. You think this time of year - the "holiday season" as people with actual friends and family to celebrate with actually call it - is all about joy, holiday spirit, Christmas "cheer," blah blah fucking blah... well, it's not.
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
I won't beat around the bush here. Gil Amelio is the grinch and he stole MY Christmas. A merger with APPLE, of all companies? WTF was Steve Jobs smoking? Good god, I start getting seizures just thinking about this. Incidentally, this was the beginning of Apple leading us down the garden path. (Remember when I stole - I mean, copied & pasted Scott's articles without his permission? It was to explain this historical travesty of Hitlerian proportions, certainly a case were copyright infringement is more than justified. Unless you support Hitler. In which case, yeah, I guess you're pissed off. Freakin' prick. POS.)
What we're left with after 11 years
NEXTSTEP and OPENSTEP are ruined. Destroyed. Finished. Gone. We went from a beautiful, perfect operating system for PROFESSIONALS (that means really smart people like me, not idiots like the rest of you rabid pro-Apple "oooh, look at us, we're the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™" jerks) to some bogus, half-assed, amateur hour pile of garbage that looks like SHITE. We went from a professional looking cube NeXT logo to some sissy rainbow colored Apple logo.
Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas to you too. Assholes. The lot of you.
The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
I won't beat around the bush here. Gil Amelio is the grinch and he stole MY Christmas. A merger with APPLE, of all companies? WTF was Steve Jobs smoking? Good god, I start getting seizures just thinking about this. Incidentally, this was the beginning of Apple leading us down the garden path. (Remember when I stole - I mean, copied & pasted Scott's articles without his permission? It was to explain this historical travesty of Hitlerian proportions, certainly a case were copyright infringement is more than justified. Unless you support Hitler. In which case, yeah, I guess you're pissed off. Freakin' prick. POS.)
What we're left with after 11 years
NEXTSTEP and OPENSTEP are ruined. Destroyed. Finished. Gone. We went from a beautiful, perfect operating system for PROFESSIONALS (that means really smart people like me, not idiots like the rest of you rabid pro-Apple "oooh, look at us, we're the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™" jerks) to some bogus, half-assed, amateur hour pile of garbage that looks like SHITE. We went from a professional looking cube NeXT logo to some sissy rainbow colored Apple logo.
Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas to you too. Assholes. The lot of you.
Wasting my RAM
As my long term followers, fans, admirers, and disciples no doubt know, I don't believe in using RSS aggregators. Or news readers. Whatever you - or the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ - choose to call these apps these days. Just like I don't need a ridiculous program like MarsEdit to publish my beautiful prose to this blog (I just use hand crafted HTML and I manually write the XML for the RSS feed), I don't need some stupid app like NetNewsWire or Cyndicate wasting several hundred kilobytes (or, as you will see shortly, even megabytes) of my disk space.
So how do I stay abreast of my favorite blog feeds, you ask? Well, it's quite simple. I have a text file that I edit using emacs (a UNIX tool for advanced professionals like myself - something the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ has no clue about). In this advanced text file I keep a list of all the RSS feed URLs of the blogs I like to read. This is my list of subscriptions. Whenever I want to check what's new, I open my list and then use wget (another advanced professional UNIX tool) to download the latest RSS or Atom feed file. Then I simply check what's new. Presto. Simple. Using only advanced UNIX tools for Apple professionals.
Yet, the assclowns who make up the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ would have you believe that you need a feed reader to accomplish this task. That would be fine and dandy if these feed reader applications weren't such utter steaming piles of shite.
An entire loaf of burnt toast
So I downloaded "the most popular Mac RSS reader" to review it. Of course, as usual, I didn't even have to bother running it to know that it's total utter CRAP. Just who does this ranch cowboy guy think he is, anyway?
First off, I used Xfile to find out the file size of this "app." 29 megabytes. Holy crap. That's just about 0.0037% of my 750 GB harddisk, dude. Unbelievable. Absolutely unacceptable.
But that's not the end of it. Not only is this "RSS reader" hogging 29 MBs of my precious disk space, it needlessly wastes my RAM as well! This idiot uses a bunch of colored toolbar icons, seemingly without any rational reason for doing so. Why do we need to load 7 useless graphics into memory when the same tasks can be accomplished via the menu bar and contextual menus? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. DO NOT ACCEPT THIS KIND OF CRAP FROM THE LANDED GENTRY OF MAC DEVELOPMENT™.
Sorry, but that's an emphatic 5 out of 5 burnt toasts for this excuse of an application. What a steaming pile of bullshite. Freakin' assholes releasing this stuff. Ridiculous.
So how do I stay abreast of my favorite blog feeds, you ask? Well, it's quite simple. I have a text file that I edit using emacs (a UNIX tool for advanced professionals like myself - something the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ has no clue about). In this advanced text file I keep a list of all the RSS feed URLs of the blogs I like to read. This is my list of subscriptions. Whenever I want to check what's new, I open my list and then use wget (another advanced professional UNIX tool) to download the latest RSS or Atom feed file. Then I simply check what's new. Presto. Simple. Using only advanced UNIX tools for Apple professionals.
Yet, the assclowns who make up the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ would have you believe that you need a feed reader to accomplish this task. That would be fine and dandy if these feed reader applications weren't such utter steaming piles of shite.
An entire loaf of burnt toast
So I downloaded "the most popular Mac RSS reader" to review it. Of course, as usual, I didn't even have to bother running it to know that it's total utter CRAP. Just who does this ranch cowboy guy think he is, anyway?
First off, I used Xfile to find out the file size of this "app." 29 megabytes. Holy crap. That's just about 0.0037% of my 750 GB harddisk, dude. Unbelievable. Absolutely unacceptable.
But that's not the end of it. Not only is this "RSS reader" hogging 29 MBs of my precious disk space, it needlessly wastes my RAM as well! This idiot uses a bunch of colored toolbar icons, seemingly without any rational reason for doing so. Why do we need to load 7 useless graphics into memory when the same tasks can be accomplished via the menu bar and contextual menus? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. DO NOT ACCEPT THIS KIND OF CRAP FROM THE LANDED GENTRY OF MAC DEVELOPMENT™.
Sorry, but that's an emphatic 5 out of 5 burnt toasts for this excuse of an application. What a steaming pile of bullshite. Freakin' assholes releasing this stuff. Ridiculous.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Why I can't work for you
Apparently one of the members of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™, that guy in the red sweater whose software got four burnt toasts in my review, is thinking about hiring help.
You may ask why I don't apply. It would make perfect sense, actually, because then I could teach this moron how to properly develop software. Well, actually, not really develop anything per se. Because I obsess so much about using Xfile to find the important details like .Trashes directories and uncompressed TIFF obscenities that I never really get any real programming work done. But I focus on what's important.
This leads me to why I realistically can't apply for this job. Frankly, I'm just far too advanced for it. I would make the guy in the red sweater feel inferior. In fact, I'm way too advanced for any actual job. That's why I run my own consulting business, where I have hundreds of famous clients across the globe. And I make this stunningly cool file browser for advanced Apple professionals.
You may ask why I don't apply. It would make perfect sense, actually, because then I could teach this moron how to properly develop software. Well, actually, not really develop anything per se. Because I obsess so much about using Xfile to find the important details like .Trashes directories and uncompressed TIFF obscenities that I never really get any real programming work done. But I focus on what's important.
This leads me to why I realistically can't apply for this job. Frankly, I'm just far too advanced for it. I would make the guy in the red sweater feel inferior. In fact, I'm way too advanced for any actual job. That's why I run my own consulting business, where I have hundreds of famous clients across the globe. And I make this stunningly cool file browser for advanced Apple professionals.
I hate all of it
I hate Apple. I hate Macs. I hate Mac OS X. Let me explain why.
No "advanced" button
I ripped my hair out last night. There's no "advanced" button in OS X. I'm a professional. I need this. There are other professionals who need this. Every other operating system has this. But you see, I'm so advanced that even though I could just switch to Windows or GNOME or KDE to get my "advanced" button, I won't. Because then who would be left to tell Apple they're stupid, that Steve Jobs is heading a sinking cluster fuck of a ship, and that the Mac in OS X sucks? Certainly the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ won't be able to.
No themes
Once again, Windows, SuSE, Ubuntu, you name it, they can all be customized with various themes and a thousand other configurations. But I won't switch. I'm an Apple professional. I hate Apple. I hate Macs. I hate Mac OS X. I stay with this platform not because I like it. I hate it. But I stay because somebody has to take a stand against these injustices coming out of Cupertino. You're welcome to think of me as the savior of the Mac platform, as that's pretty much exactly what I am.
No "advanced" button
I ripped my hair out last night. There's no "advanced" button in OS X. I'm a professional. I need this. There are other professionals who need this. Every other operating system has this. But you see, I'm so advanced that even though I could just switch to Windows or GNOME or KDE to get my "advanced" button, I won't. Because then who would be left to tell Apple they're stupid, that Steve Jobs is heading a sinking cluster fuck of a ship, and that the Mac in OS X sucks? Certainly the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ won't be able to.
No themes
Once again, Windows, SuSE, Ubuntu, you name it, they can all be customized with various themes and a thousand other configurations. But I won't switch. I'm an Apple professional. I hate Apple. I hate Macs. I hate Mac OS X. I stay with this platform not because I like it. I hate it. But I stay because somebody has to take a stand against these injustices coming out of Cupertino. You're welcome to think of me as the savior of the Mac platform, as that's pretty much exactly what I am.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
How the Think Secret shutdown affects me
Apple shut down Think Secret. They settled with Nick Ciarelli. This is a true example of what corporate harassment and a large legal division with deep pockets can do to chill free speech.
How does this affect me?
What's good for me about this case is that since I copied a bunch of articles without permission from Stepwise and not Apple, I'll be fine. Stepwise doesn't have a legal group. So, even though my actions aren't constitutionally protected, it's all good.
Who's the Loser?
Stepwise is. Not me. I'm the winner. I always win, because I'm smart. And cool. (By the way, I could really use a date next Friday when I go out again for the first time in 5 years. Any interested chicks reading this? Please? I promise I'll shower.)
How does this affect me?
What's good for me about this case is that since I copied a bunch of articles without permission from Stepwise and not Apple, I'll be fine. Stepwise doesn't have a legal group. So, even though my actions aren't constitutionally protected, it's all good.
Who's the Loser?
Stepwise is. Not me. I'm the winner. I always win, because I'm smart. And cool. (By the way, I could really use a date next Friday when I go out again for the first time in 5 years. Any interested chicks reading this? Please? I promise I'll shower.)
These Mac "developers" are really piling it on
So I copied and pasted a couple of articles that weren't mine. Big deal. Nobody writes dozens of extensive blog posts when some guy wearing a red sweater releases blogging software that wastes 752 KB of precious disk space. That's an actual crime in my book. Copyright infringement? Well, like it says in the term itself: it's just infringement. A civil violation at most. Not as bad as the felonious atrocity that are those huge TIFF files and the .Trashes directory. (Note: I'm not a lawyer, but I've had my share of legal troubles. Like when I got arrested for narcotics trafficking. But I totally swear I didn't do it, dude.)
But apparently I got some attention from a bunch of jerks belonging to the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™. Bunch of assholes. One of them calls me "Asswipe of the year". A guy who's blog is called /dev/random. What kind of a jackass calls his blog /dev/random, anyway? Does that mean we can just ignore everything you say because it's random bullshit? (Pretty clever there, making the leap from /dev/random to random bullshit, isn't it? God, I'm so good at this internet blog posting stuff.)
This /dev/random prick also criticizes me for blaming Steve Jobs for the QuickBooks bug:
"He blames every software mishap (such as QuickBook’s desktop overwriting bug) on Apple’s incompetence, in one of his typical rants:"
Well, yeah, duh. You stupid loser. If we were still using good old OpenSTEP, this wouldn't have happened. Because OpenSTEP couldn't write any files to the desktop. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO STUPID DESKTOP WITH FILES ON IT. Dumbass.
What a bunch of Grade A Idiots.
And then there's this "Chuqui 3.0" fellow, who thinks he's really clever adding that version number to his name. Wow. The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ is so clever. He writes about Rixstep ripping off stepwise. This isn't "ripping off," it's SIMPLE CUT AND PASTE. Isn't that what you Landed Gentry idiots think is so great about graphic user interfaces in the first place?
But apparently I got some attention from a bunch of jerks belonging to the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™. Bunch of assholes. One of them calls me "Asswipe of the year". A guy who's blog is called /dev/random. What kind of a jackass calls his blog /dev/random, anyway? Does that mean we can just ignore everything you say because it's random bullshit? (Pretty clever there, making the leap from /dev/random to random bullshit, isn't it? God, I'm so good at this internet blog posting stuff.)
This /dev/random prick also criticizes me for blaming Steve Jobs for the QuickBooks bug:
"He blames every software mishap (such as QuickBook’s desktop overwriting bug) on Apple’s incompetence, in one of his typical rants:"
Well, yeah, duh. You stupid loser. If we were still using good old OpenSTEP, this wouldn't have happened. Because OpenSTEP couldn't write any files to the desktop. BECAUSE THERE WAS NO STUPID DESKTOP WITH FILES ON IT. Dumbass.
What a bunch of Grade A Idiots.
And then there's this "Chuqui 3.0" fellow, who thinks he's really clever adding that version number to his name. Wow. The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ is so clever. He writes about Rixstep ripping off stepwise. This isn't "ripping off," it's SIMPLE CUT AND PASTE. Isn't that what you Landed Gentry idiots think is so great about graphic user interfaces in the first place?
More from the Landed Gentry
So this John C. Welch guy doesn't want to let it slide. He thinks he's going to "expose me." Expose what, exactly? Copying and pasting Scott's articles? Isn't that what the much vaunted "copy & paste" feature you Mac clowns think is the best thing since sliced bread is actually for?
He writes:
"You're a fucking blight on the Mac web."
Well, I'm sorry. No, actually I'm not sorry. I am an asshole. But the fact is, John, in this world assholes are the ones who get things done. Somebody has to expose this travesty that Apple is committing against OpenSTEP, the perfect operating system. You Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ idiots are ruining it for the rest of us (the rest of us in this case meaning just me, of course, because I'm the only one who really gets it).
Remember when your teacher told you that maybe if everyone else is saying you're wrong, you actually are? Well, it's not true. Because I'm right, and everyone else is wrong.
He writes:
"You're a fucking blight on the Mac web."
Well, I'm sorry. No, actually I'm not sorry. I am an asshole. But the fact is, John, in this world assholes are the ones who get things done. Somebody has to expose this travesty that Apple is committing against OpenSTEP, the perfect operating system. You Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ idiots are ruining it for the rest of us (the rest of us in this case meaning just me, of course, because I'm the only one who really gets it).
Remember when your teacher told you that maybe if everyone else is saying you're wrong, you actually are? Well, it's not true. Because I'm right, and everyone else is wrong.
All Mac OS X software not written by me sucks
I'm going to be generous here and give all Mac OS X software that's not written by me four burnt toasts. For those of you too intellectually challenged to understand this, that means The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ sucks at creating software, and I rule.
Of course, I'm not one to just throw out vitriolic nonsense without backing it up with cold, hard facts. Because that would be irrational, stupid, and would make me look like a crazy retard. Which of course I'm not. I'm going to use MarsEdit as my example:
MarsEdit: Four Burnt Toasts (even though I'm not actually going to test it)
.Trashes
Actually testing software by running it isn't important in determining why all Mac OS X software not written by me sucks. Because the fact is, we need to look at what's truly important. Such as not removing the .Trashes folder from the distribution disk image. OMG, there it is: 454,656 bytes of pure shit the author doesn't even realize is there!
I know Grandma Rixstep would be looking at all those wasted bytes when evaluating MarsEdit for her blogging needs. (Actually, I don't know that. I hate Grandma Rixstep. I don't talk to her. I don't talk to anyone, actually. Just you, my faithful readers, on this blog.) So that's 1 burnt toast. 3 more to go.
Felonious TIFF Sizes
Holy crap: MarsEdit is occupying a whopping 752 kilobytes (yes, bold added for earth-shattering emphasis) of your 750 GB harddisk! This is not only a travesty of epic proportions, it is a CRIME. This is pure shite. The clown behind this app obviously has no clue what he's doing. God, just ten fucking seconds out of his life is all it would take to clean up this obscenity!
That's 1 more burnt toast. 2 more to go!
I hate the developer
Yeah, I don't like this Red Sweater guy. He's part of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™. He sucks at writing software. Why is he developing blogging software anyway? Why not a really cool file browser that nobody uses (because it's too advanced for everyone but me)? So, yeah, what an asshole. That's 2 more burnt toasts just for that.
Lessons for the Landed Gentry
Wow, this is so pathetic. Good thing I'm so smart that I figured this all out for you, stupid users who don't know how to really evaluate software. This is the important stuff - at least, we all know people outside the "upper strata of the Macosphere" (as I so eloquently put it once) care about this important stuff I just reviewed above. I can't actually write an app anybody gives a damn about using. But I sure as hell know how to find those 122 junk files in MarsEdit. Because that's what really counts.
Lessons for Users
Don't be an idiot and don't accept this kind of BULLSHIT from the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ any more! They want you to just sit down and take this! No more! DEMAND QUALITY SOFTWARE. (But not from me, because I write great apps already. I know what I'm doing. I consult for hundreds of famous companies and I make really cool file browser programs.)
Of course, I'm not one to just throw out vitriolic nonsense without backing it up with cold, hard facts. Because that would be irrational, stupid, and would make me look like a crazy retard. Which of course I'm not. I'm going to use MarsEdit as my example:
MarsEdit: Four Burnt Toasts (even though I'm not actually going to test it)
.Trashes
Actually testing software by running it isn't important in determining why all Mac OS X software not written by me sucks. Because the fact is, we need to look at what's truly important. Such as not removing the .Trashes folder from the distribution disk image. OMG, there it is: 454,656 bytes of pure shit the author doesn't even realize is there!
I know Grandma Rixstep would be looking at all those wasted bytes when evaluating MarsEdit for her blogging needs. (Actually, I don't know that. I hate Grandma Rixstep. I don't talk to her. I don't talk to anyone, actually. Just you, my faithful readers, on this blog.) So that's 1 burnt toast. 3 more to go.
Felonious TIFF Sizes
Holy crap: MarsEdit is occupying a whopping 752 kilobytes (yes, bold added for earth-shattering emphasis) of your 750 GB harddisk! This is not only a travesty of epic proportions, it is a CRIME. This is pure shite. The clown behind this app obviously has no clue what he's doing. God, just ten fucking seconds out of his life is all it would take to clean up this obscenity!
That's 1 more burnt toast. 2 more to go!
I hate the developer
Yeah, I don't like this Red Sweater guy. He's part of the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™. He sucks at writing software. Why is he developing blogging software anyway? Why not a really cool file browser that nobody uses (because it's too advanced for everyone but me)? So, yeah, what an asshole. That's 2 more burnt toasts just for that.
Lessons for the Landed Gentry
Wow, this is so pathetic. Good thing I'm so smart that I figured this all out for you, stupid users who don't know how to really evaluate software. This is the important stuff - at least, we all know people outside the "upper strata of the Macosphere" (as I so eloquently put it once) care about this important stuff I just reviewed above. I can't actually write an app anybody gives a damn about using. But I sure as hell know how to find those 122 junk files in MarsEdit. Because that's what really counts.
Lessons for Users
Don't be an idiot and don't accept this kind of BULLSHIT from the Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ any more! They want you to just sit down and take this! No more! DEMAND QUALITY SOFTWARE. (But not from me, because I write great apps already. I know what I'm doing. I consult for hundreds of famous companies and I make really cool file browser programs.)
Bait & Switch: OMG we were led down the garden path. SYSTEMATICALLY!!!
So, I was going to steal an article written by someone else without asking for their permission to prove my point about how Apple led third party developers down the garden path. But that would upset The Landed Gentry of Mac Development™ (yeah, that's a term I made up all on my own - I'm really clever like that). Instead, I'll summarize my basic points below.
Fuck you, Landed Gentry of Mac Developers. And fuck you, Apple. I hate you all. Bye.
Fuck you, Landed Gentry of Mac Developers. And fuck you, Apple. I hate you all. Bye.
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